Mommy’s World

Sometimes I wonder.., why can’t I be more discipline to myself? There are some aspects in mylife that I need to fix. True, I have some personal accomplishments that I should be proud of. One of them is that I manage to exercise regularly..!!!  Yeah…that’s a big thing for me since I never done it before. It’s been over 8 weeks since I do treadmill for 30 minutes 3-4 times a week..!!  Hooray for me…..!!!!

But, when it’s time for shopping..I give up. I always want for more..and more. Women…..that who we are. Even if we have tons of clothes hanging in our closets…still..we buy more clothes…! Nope.., I shouldn’t blame other women. I just blame myself for not being discipline.

I promise myself to stop buying clothes for the rest of the month…(about 10 days left). Still, when my friend Mina told me there’s a sale going on somewhere my mind just couldn’t wait to "see" it. Gosh…..!! Coz I like bargain things. They’re so fun to buy……:) Ooooh.., don’t know. Maybe I shouldn’t go  to that store…..maybe I should limit my trip to the mall……(My hubby already complain about the kids wanting to go to the mall all the time). Seems like I know what I must do….but at the same time syeitan keep telling me to do the opposite:(

Hmmmh..being a full-time mommy is extremely demanding job of all time. I feel like I lost my personal time. Almost every minute I can hear, "Mom., I want this and that", "Mom, could you play with us…?" , "Mom, can you help me?" My god.., I even have to unlock the bathroom door so they can go inside the bathroom whenever they need me. Wow..,great isn’t it??Sometimes, I feel like quitting this "job". Impossible, I know. But, that’s life. My kids are my responsibilities.

Funny thing is…, I miss my little ones whenever I’m not with them. I’m worried about them. When  I’m away.., I want to be with them. To kiss or hug them…to play or chat with them. Just can’t live with them for a minute!!

When I’m mad at them……I could forget how much I love them. I have to take alots of deep breath to calm my self. I don’t like spanking or pinching. I prefer talking over action. Sometimes it’s so hard to handle, I just wanna scream…:)

Nabila, Faris, and Saif.., they’re so wonderfull. They always forgive my "mistakes" and my imperfect style of being their mom. Their heart are so big that they love me for who I am. Please Allah.., make me a better mom for my young children..